Bring on the sufferfest. And the vomit.

Saturday is the Kinetic Half-Ironman Triathlon at Lake Anna, VA.  I have completed this triathlon twice before -- 2006 and 2010.  As part of the race preview, here is a brief "race review" of the two previous races.

2006 - 6:23:19
As part of my "If anyone can do a triathlon, then so can I" routine of 2006, I signed up for the Kinetic as a "halfway point" on my way to a full Iron that October.  In 2006, the Kinetic was in April, a few weeks earlier in the season than it is currently.  It was my first real long-distance triathlon, and though I had trained more than ever before, I was not entirely prepared for the event.  On top of that, race conditions were not great. 

• The lake temperature was 52F that morning.  That's like swimming in a Diet Coke that you just pulled out of the refrigerator.  It was my first time swimming in open water, and my first time wearing a wetsuit.  Oh, and I wore tinted goggles, which are great in a well-lit swimming pool.  Not so great in the dark water.
• I couldn't swim in a straight line to save my life.  Alisha actually took a video of my second entry into the water (to swim the second loop), and I immediately shot off in a 45-degree angle away from the buoy.



• A torrential downpour hit at the beginning of the bike portion, and it did not relent until halfway through the run.  When I hit 40mph on a downhill, the raindrops felt like rocks on my cheeks.  It's a modern miracle that I did not wreck on my new triathlon bike.
• What's with my fatboy legs?  Did I really have Man-cankles?


 (You can see how wet the roads were from the rain.)





• I learned the hard way that protein drink at the start of the run "primes the pump" for vomit, the true fourth discipline of triathlon.
• I wore a totally lame biker shirt (and though I don't remember doing so, it appears that I changed into running shorts at some point).
• For more information on the evolution of my fat face, click here.

Despite my lack of experience, I actually put together a good bike split (3:01:57).  The half-marathon was slowed by a) my lack of training and b) several stops to vomit along the way.  In hindsight, if I had been able to run an average half, I would have been in the top part of the bottom half (my normal position in these types of events).  But I was glad just to finish.

2010 - 5:56:01
After I had a few more triathlons behind me, I signed up for the Kinetic in 2010.  Most importantly, I lost my fat face.  A few other factors also helped me immensely, but a few problems remained.

Lake temperature was 62F.  Ten degrees makes quite a difference in your heart rate and panic level.  And because the swim course was changed at the last minute, it may have been inadvertently shortened.  Whatever the reason, my swim split was 14 minutes faster than in 2006.

• No rain!  My shirt is actually wet from the pee in my wetsuit.  Yeah, it's gross.  I pee my pants while I'm riding my bike too.  Get over it.











• I learned the hard way (a second time) that protein drink is bad bad bad during the run.  Only this time I tried to swallow the big bubble for 12 miles.  At last, I vomited on the 12-mile marker, then ran my fastest mile to the finish.
• I had a much cooler shirt than in 2006, and my man-cankles are now gone.



• I had a larger cheering section -- Alisha and little Genevieve this time!  Alisha worked her usual magic with the camera, and she made a shirt for Genevieve that says, "I run fast ... like my daddy."

Overall, it was a fantastic race.  I was much better prepared, but I had not put in near as many miles on the bike.  In fact, I think my longest training distance was around 40 miles.  So I actually lost 6 minutes on the bike portion.  Luckily, I made up more than enough time on the swim and run.

2012 - (Aiming for sub-5:50)
This year the water temperature is projected to be 70 degrees!  No rain in the forecast, though it may be in the high-40's at start time.  I've put in more miles and more hours than ever before.  Still, I have a few nagging injuries and my run isn't where I want it to be.  So here are my goals:

• Sub-45 minute swim.  (Rob Stone starts 9 minutes after me, and my goal is to not get passed by him.)
• Sub-3-hour bike split.  I have the bike for it.  Now it's just a question of the engine.
• Sub-1:55 run.  Sure, I've run faster half-marathons in my lifetime, but not after 4 hours of swimming and biking.  Have you?
• No vomit.  (Unless it's a spectacular one.)  I will resist the protein drink like I resist chick-flicks.  Both have the same effect after a half an hour.

Bring it!